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BS’D
As readers of this blog are probably aware, Meira Meirovitz Drazin recently wrote two articles on the subject of transsexed individuals within the Orthodox Jewish community. If you haven’t had a chance to read them, you can find them at http://www.floridajewishnews.com/site/c/torah_lifestyle/.
The administrators agreed to be interviewed for these articles in the hope that a dialogue about gender identity and gender transition will ensue in the Orthodox community. The desire to begin a dialogue, however, should not be viewed as a challenge to halachic Judaism. Rather, it should be seen as an overture to the Orthodox community to take the time to understand the realities and challenges of the condition that transsexed people deal with. Treading down the road is made more challenging by virtue of the desire to fulfill our obligations and retain access to our religious faith and observances as well as our involvement with and contributions to the Jewish community. Despite the difficulty, the motivation to maintain a kesher (connection) to halachic Judaism and the Orthodox and greater Jewish community is one of belief, commitment and devotion.
That being said, Orthodox transsexuals don’t want or need a halachic or social carte blanche, but we humbly request the trust and respect that is due to people equally created B’Tselem Elokim, in God’s image. We agree that it is important that halacha deal with these issues, but with knowledge of the realities of the condition and without misperceptions, misunderstandings, and invalid assumptions.
Whether transsexuality is seen as a psychiatric condition (sic) or akin to an intersex condition, it is very real, intensely painful, is often unchangeable, can be life threatening, and can render a person unable to live in their gender assigned at birth. No transsexual person would choose to suffer from gender dysphoria. Furthermore, transsexed people would not suggest gender transition to anyone except in severe cases of G.D. This is because transsexual men and women understand how challenging gender transition is (irrespective of religious considerations). Gender transition is costly, disruptive, and generally extremely difficult. Nevertheless, in some cases, the very real pain of living in the wrong sex/gender poses a far greater threat to a transsexed person’s ability to function and survive.
Given the choice, transsexual people would overwhelmingly choose to have been born in a body that matches their gender identity, as most people are, rather than live a life in excruciating conflict, risk family and social relationships, face societal discrimination in access to health care, employment, services, etc., and go through an extremely challenging transition process to bring their physical sex and gender into line with their gender identity. In reality, for transsexed people such a choice does not exist.
Despite all of the difficulties, transsexed people pursue hormone therapy, gender transition and, in many cases, sex reassignment surgery, because it provides tremendous relief from the anguish of gender dysphoria and it really does save lives.
Accordingly, at a minimum, regardless of whether or not sex reassignment surgery effects a halachicly recognized change in gender status (and there is legitimate, though currently minority, halachic opinion to support this view), or whether hormone therapy, gender transition and sex reassignment surgery is mutar lchatchila (though if it were determined that such a procedure would avert a situation of pikuach nefesh, or risk to life, it would be a chiyuv d’Oraysa [a directly Toraitic imperative], or if it were determined to be a matter of compulsion one who underwent GT, HRT, and SRS would be seen as an Ones [one who is compelled and is therefore not morally culpable]), any halachic analysis must take into account the realities of the condition. Additionally, any halachic analysis regarding the inclusion of trans people within the Orthodox community must take a factual look at the motivations and intentions behind transition and not assume that transsexuality is “contagious” (which it is not) or that such a path is indicative of a rejection of halachic Judaism.
Advising a transsexual that they are obligated to attend synagogue dressed in their pre-transition gender’s clothes and to sit in their pre-transition gender’s section does not address the reality of the condition, the psychological anguish, harm and the embarrassment that an attempt to do this would cause, the undeniable physical changes that result from hormone therapy and the results of sex reassignment surgery, not to mention the significant therapeutic benefits of gender transition.
Now that doesn’t say that the halacha is or is not a particular way, but these are at least some of the facts that must be weighed in. To sit in the Men’s section? Women’s section? To go to shul for davening (prayer service)? These are perhaps legitimate questions. But the way to resolve these issues is to follow a halachic process that accounts for all the information and is open to all the possibilities, not a process that has assumed the facts and formulated an answer before the question is even asked and the evidence presented.
Finally, the demonstrably false attitude and belief that transsexuality (and a host of other things deemed “unpleasant”) just does not and cannot happen within the Orthodox community is often harmful. This attitude forces people into denial as a defense mechanism and/or prevents them from acknowledging the condition and getting the help that they need. It also funnels people into life choices that may, due to what may be unrealistic and unsustainable expectations, exacerbate any potential negative effects on their lives and the lives of others. In general, we hope that the community will consider the attitudes and beliefs that exist, and the necessity of those attitudes and beliefs relative to the benefits and costs.
Accordingly, we hope that this blog will serve to:
- provide a network and community of support to those transsexed and transgender people who wish to maintain some form of connection to Judaism, the Jewish people, and other trans Jews; and,
- provide a network and community of support for the families (including spouses) of transsexed Jews; and
- provide information to the community to counter the rampant misconceptions, misunderstandings and inaccurate assumptions about trans people in general and Jewish transsexual and transgender people in particular.
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“whether or not sex reassignment surgery effects a halachicly recognized change in gender status (and there is legitimate, though currently minority, halachic opinion to support this view),”
More than minority view I tend to feel that for social reasons the teshuvos of the Tzitz Eliezer on this topic have not been taken as halachah, since I’m not aware of any serious teshuvah that paskens to the contrary. Most teshuvos should certainly be good enough to be a limud zchus on people, and these are no exception…
“Advising a transsexual that they are obligated to attend synagogue dressed in their pre-transition gender’s clothes and to sit in their pre-transition gender’s section does not address the reality of the condition, the psychological anguish, harm and the embarrassment that an attempt to do this would cause,”
I don’t think that any serious posek would regard the obligation of tefillah betzibur to be that pressing.
“Finally, the demonstrably false attitude and belief that transsexuality (and a host of other things deemed “unpleasant”) just does not and cannot happen within the Orthodox community is often harmful. This attitude forces people into denial as a defense mechanism and/or prevents them from acknowledging the condition and getting the help that they need.”
A few years back I remember reading an article in The Jewish Observer that talks about how psychological conditions are still stigmatized in the frum community to the point of people not having a culture of treating them or even acknowledging they exist. Perhaps when the culture of treating psychological conditions develops in the frum community to the point where they are on a par with physiological conditions transsexuality will also be treated with compassion and understanding.
It’s great that this blog is here. Thanks for putting it up. I’m one of those in the 99% who left.
On the one hand, I think it’s…extraordinarly courageous for a trans woman to transition in place. The prospect of transitioning in place, when that place is the frum world, would scares the life out of me. As soon as I began a voyage of self-discovery, I began to discover just how much I couldn’t be frum anymore.
At first, I didn’t know exactly why it was a problem for me. Eventually I figured out that if I’m going to do something so…”in your face” as to transition, and tell my frum friends about it, *and* expect them to accept me in a religious context, I’d be making myself “the issue”. That’s almost guaranteed to fail in an Orthodox Jewish context or community.
One could go against the grain, invoke a minority opinion that says that a post-op trans women is female by halachic standards, but that’s logical. If people have a visceral reaction to the issue, their emotions will take over, and they’ll fight the logic. And they have good weapons with which to fight—the majority opinions that say no-no-no. The majority opinions, coupled with their emotional response to the issue, will make their actions/reactions toward the trans woman even more negative.
People have come to accept me individually, but probably couldn’t feel comfortable doing so in the context of their synagogue /frum community.
When I was in the 4th grade, in a co-ed Jewish Day School, I was in a class with a rather athletic girl who beat up the boys who picked on me. I was a bit of a “swish” in grade school, and she did what she could to make sure I wasn’t harmed just for being who I was. I am forever grateful to her for that.
She is still a friend. She married a relatively liberal Black Hat guy. He is sweet, but he has no idea what the hell to do with me—how to “categorize” me in his mind. In his Black Hat life, there is black, and white..and maybe gray socks on occasion, but not much gray other than that
..
If I were to stay at their house for Shabbos, going to shul, and sitting on the women’s side of the mechitza would probably bother him, and, by extension, make his wife upset. Even if she wished to advocate for me, I’d be causing some variety of discord between them by having them argue about this issue they really didn’t need in their lives. It would all have come about because I wanted to do something outside the bounds of what they ever expected to deal with.
In Judaism, we’re often taught to sacrifice personal needs in this world, so that we may be rewarded in the Next World. Making oneself the issue is precisely what Orthodoxy says one’s not supposed to do. Making oneself the issue, and saying that a frum community must face this “new” (well, new to them, anyway) phenomenon so that I can go to shul and feel comfortable, is wrong (in my eyes).
But I also believe that halacha has been politicized, and that rabbis who might ordinarily have a hint of a chance of advocating for a trans woman, won’t do so for fear of repercussions…Maybe if the rabbi came out and said “you must accept this person for who she is”, it’d be a bit easier for the trans woman. But, even the rabbis who believe that a trans woman should be able to live in her proper gender within the frum community, won’t say so publicly, and would probably deny it publicly if they said it privately, and the word got out.
I believe that some will say what’s comfortable rather than than what they feel..not just about this issue, but about many issues. I’m not blaming them. I’m sure there are circumstances under which I’d do something similar.
I recently spoke to a yeshiva boy who was born with a vagina, AND to a family that wasn’t frum….
He’s got a double transition going on. For a while, he was learning in, and dorming at a black hat yeshiva. He was living on the fringe there to begin with. They suspected him of being gay, because of his slight build. At one point, he ran out of money. He couldn’t afford his “Vitamin T” as the boys call it (Testosterone), and was afraid he was going to start menstruating again IN YESHIVA. I advised him to get the hell out of yeshiva.
If, while considering the boy’s admission to yeshiva, they had any idea what his situation was, the yeshiva would NOT have admitted him, and would have shown him the door, maybe offering to have him meet the rebbitzen, so she could get him out of those men’s clothes, and maybe find a nice boy for him.
Nonetheless, he didn’t make disclosure, and he got in, and learned. If the yeshiva boys had found out about him, they’d probably have felt that the integrity of their institution had been compromised. The trans boy hasn’t written to me or called me in a while. I don’t know what became of him. I hope he left yeshiva.
This is but one small illustration of the frustration one must deal with if one attempts to maintain respect for the institutions, laws, and traditions of Orthodox Judaism while being “out” as a tranny.
So, I applaud anyone who wants to do so, but fear for their safety. I will do what I can to support you. If you ever need a place to stay in New York, I’ll be happy to put you up. I have references
Dana
Let us open our eyes and realise that transsexuals exist and even within the charedi world its hard for frum people to come to terms with it but it exists even amongst us and so the attitude of denial amongst frum people is a wrong mechanisim which coerces transsexuals to get married and end up devorcing and ruining innocent lives so lets realise how disruptative& destructive this so called holy attitude is.also the sense of blindness which is not mature and helpfull at all we have to help our fellow jews